Sara needed a man who was devoted to her and who treated her like she deserved to be treated; something most women would understand.  She didn’t want them attracted to her beauty or her money, so she began the process to make her way to her least alluring self.  She carefully undid her makeup and made herself plain but not ugly. She dropped the straps of her most sexy and revealing teddy.  She pulled on sweat bottoms and a comfortable, but worn t-shirt.  She even bothered to pull on old slippers.  Any illusion worth doing was worth doing the entire way.  This would be her makeup for the foreseeable future.  She missed herself already

She glanced back at the bed with a look of longing, but knew she couldn’t avoid the siren call of the computer long.  She was, oh – so – addicted.  She scooted to the pristine kitchen with Viking appliances and granite counter tops.  In a week or two her old apartment, kept for just this situation, would be set up and ready for her to entertain dates.  The apartment was a poor working girl’s place; clean, but not well appointed; a take what you can get sort of place.  It was surprising how much time and energy and even money it took to get it right.  She didn’t begrudge the effort.  She loved the process of putting it together; like a work of art.  She made come coffee, inhaled the strong aroma and went back to sit down at the computer.

She skirted the desk that held the computer and thought about her favorite part of her search for her perfect man.  The act of shopping for just the right things to attract a man’s devotion, made her feel proactive.  The computer pinged that she had mail.  With a hitch in her breathing, she succumbed and admitted in her heart that it was time to go seeking.  The last preparation she did was to slide an old room divider between the worn desk chair she would use to sit at the computer and the opulent room around her.  She didn’t intend to broadcast her camera image, but one never knew.  If she had to, the viewer would just see a well worn apartment backdrop.  For Sara, details mattered.

She sat at her computer a looking rumpled and simple and looked at the web cam’s version of herself.  She had a shudder of appreciation for how plain she looked.   In the back of her mind, she wondered if the poor Sara might be her best self.

She logged on to the computer and quickly clicked on several icons on her computer monitor.  Dots of light expanded in her window.  She always loved the animation and movement that meant the computer was doing her bidding.  If only men would behave as well.  Several ditty’s of sounds danced out of the speakers.  She quickly hit the mute button.  She hated to be rude to the person who was asleep nearby.  Each window beckoned her with a password request.  Some idiots set their computers up to auto log in.  That was stupid and dangerous.  In one small, survival based section of her mind, SAFE tolled a diminutive klaxon; not so loud as to disturb her at her tasks; but, constant, like an old submarine disaster movie with the volume low.  

Her chosen nickname was the same for every site.  The least helpful web site: www friend finder dot com, requested the password for “simple-sara”.  Hotmail suggested that if she were not simple sara, that she log on under her real name.  “No damned chance of that Mr. MSN”, Sara whispered.  Alt.com, a site for those interested in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism politely requested her password.  Adultfriendfinder, the prurient brother to friendfinder, offered to get her laid right now if she provided a password.  Graigslist offered a more generic non-password opportunity.  She mined so many websites because one never knew where HE might be hiding.  These were the sites where she had found the most serious dates.  She typed the passwords over and over and the sites welcomed her to love, sex, pain and pleasure.  She thought that they were right on every level.  Email alerts flashed on the screen and she closed them.  She was the hunter, not them.

Sara had opened a profile page under adultfriendfinder and was tweaking her information, when two feminine hands slid down her shoulders and kneaded gently.  The fingers were long and the nails perfectly sculpted.  The bright red color of the nails all but guaranteed that the causal passerby would over look the jewelry on the right ring finger.  A wide platinum band, inset with onyx and little tiny versions of handcuffs was the only decoration on her body.  

Sara continued to type as a caramel sugar voice whispered into her ear. “Come back to bed.  I’m not finished with you.”

Sara kissed the hand as it invaded her front, “Baby, you’re never satisfied.”

Sara clicked the mouse and the screen filled with Alt.com.  A list of men’s profiles filled the screen.  Most were naked men or naked parts of men.  Leather was the motif of the day.

The hands continued their incursion, “Are you hunting for him again?”

Several male profiles scroll past.  Sara’s eyes danced with the scroll.  

Sara sighed, “I can’t help it.”

Lips, matching the color of the nails but smudged from pleasure danced on Sara’s neck, “Talk about never satisfied.”

Sara shuddered but remained vigilant, “I tried bars and clubs.  This is a more productive place to look.  The profiles say more than you get in ten dates.”

The fingers retreated, “You think the next Mr. Right is hiding among cyber perverts?”

Sara seldom sighed for anyone but the love of her life, she gave up a second sigh. “It’s for people interested in BDSM.  I might find a man who isn’t so damned directive.   Most of the guys on this site are really submissive.  I only look at them.”  A profile flashed into view.  She read for a second, “Does my searching make you jealous?”  Sara clicked on a profile, scanned it, deleted it and moved on.

The voice gained strength and said, “Of a man?  No. You’ll never love anyone more than me.”

Sara paused, tilted her head and looked into the woman’s eyes and said, “It isn’t the sex or money, I just have to do this and you know why.”

The soft response was a kiss to Sara’s forehead and the lilting voice said, “I wish it could just be us, but no one knows more than me why you have to search.  I’m happy to make sure you can do it safely.  But still, given how everything is now, I wish it could just be us.”

Sara suddenly shut the computer down as tears of frustration flowed down her cheeks.  Once she finally had herself under control again she said, “I know baby, but in our situation, in the relationship we have, no one would ever understand.  We can never be monogamous.”

The hands slid down her chest and pulled Sara backwards toward a kiss.  The woman whispered, “I’ll watch over you, but only if you come back to bed now.”

Sara hit the sleep key on the computer and turned.  She could wait a little longer to find Mr. right.